Look, you know the fires are the first big climate change crisis and I know it’s climate change and everyone with a functioning brain knows it’s climate change but—and hear me out on this—the time for winning internet brownie points for coming up with most inventive insult for the fools who still think it’s not has passed. This is too serious.

The reason they think that—and I use the term “think” in the loosest possible sense—is that is what they are being told. They have different sources to us. They’re not going to change those sources. They’re not suddenly going to give up the Daily Tele or the QAnon sites in exchange for the Guardian and New Scientist. They’re not.

So stop trying to throw science at them because they can’t hear it. And stop calling them unbleepable twatwaffles because they CAN hear that. It is all they hear from the other side. It doesn’t make them listen to the science.

There’s a lot of misinformation being spread, around issues like hazard reduction, arsonists, blaming Greenies, spreading rumours that climate change activists are lighting the fires to “push thir narrative” and other outlandish nonsense. Some sources pushing this out are pretending to be Australian when they’re not. They use terms like “wildfire” that are just not the local vernacular.

So who is doing it?

Australians are falling for it. There’s a lot of conspiracy theorists out there, and there’s a lot of people motivated purely by vitriolic hatred.

We watch idiots like Craig Kelly, Richo, Alan Jones — the usual suspects — mouthing off their usual bilious garbage, and it’s not hard to draw the conclusion that these people would rather watch the world burn than ever admit the greenies were right.

…these people would rather watch the world burn than ever admit the greenies were right…

So we’ve got the stale pale male brigade and their Women’s Auxiliary — Miranda Divine, Rita Panahi and other poisonous little hobgoblins  — on one end, and shadowy overseas influences pushing lies and division on the other. In between them are caught a lot of fools who live in a world where Murdoch dictates what is news, who believe all this garbage because it’s all they hear and it’s what their tribe thinks. And they’re desperate to be part of their tribe.

It’s not in Australia’s interests.

As is usual, we see a great deal of anger and ridicule from people not blinded by Murdoch. But here’s the problem: when those people expend their energy sneering at the ignorance of fools, whose work are they doing? Whose interests is it in to keep Australia divided into camps with bitter division between them? Not ours. It’s not in Australia’s interests.

What we need in this crisis is to be very supportive and tolerant of each other. Don’t get too involved in bagging idiots, they’re still our neighbours and we still have to create a new, post-climate change world with them.

And you don’t know whose dirty work you’re doing, getting involved in fights with rightwing nutters.

Find what you have in common and stick with that, and don’t get tricked into fighting. There’ll be plenty of time to fight later—right now we need solidarity. Even with people we have no politics in common with and who we think are insane: they still have children, still need drinking water and medical care, still worry about their pets. Find that level of commonality and stick with it. These influences are trying to divide us and we need to unite.

They are trying to divide us when we need to unite.

Can we give up our internet-fueled addiction to sneering at other tribes for just a little while? Can we swallow our normal response when Aunty Betty starts carrying on about the wicked greenies, and ask her instead if her cats are coping with the smoke? Are her budgies getting enough water? And is there anything we can do to help?

When someone attacks us online for being a sheeple who doesn’t understand Agenda 20 or QAnon, rather than retort, check that they have support, that the region they’re in is doing okay, and if not ask is there some way we can direct resources to them.

Ask them about their dogs. Even insane conspiracy theorists care about their dogs. Commiserate with them over the lack of water, or electricity, or the difficulty in breathing through this smoke. Don’t take the bait. Say things like: “I know we don’t see eye-to-eye on a lot of issues, but we’re both Australian and we’re both affected and if I can help you in any way, please just ask.”

Even insane conspiracy theorists care about their dogs.

Seek unity, not discord. If we can create solidarity out of chaos and hate, then we are beating the enemies who want us at each others’ throats.

Seek unity, not discord.

Take the high road, for a while. Enjoy the view. Look after yourselves and look after your neighbours, however they voted.

And good luck to all.

You Know Nothing

You Know Nothing

I find all this serious discussion and analysis of the latest bombing of Syria just fucking ridiculous. I don’t know anything about Syria, and neither do you. Nor do most of the journalists, or the commentators, or your friends on Twitter and Facebook who are certain there was no chemical attack in Douma—they may well be right about that, the point is, they’re guessing. They don’t “know”.

I have zero faith in the credibility of any sources (including the video below); we all should. There is just so much bullshit and propaganda everywhere; it is impossible to see behind the curtain, to see who’s pulling what strings. And it is impossible to begin to make sense of any of it until you admit your ignorance.

All I can see clearly is consistent accounts of an enormous amount of military ordnance and matériel getting used and I wonder who is paying for that, where the money is coming from, and where it is going to.

Because as far as I can figure out, modern warfare is not about politics, it’s about profits.

It’s a business.

The strikes on the weekend were likely some kind of marketing exercise. Someone wanted to show off their new kill-toys, and now all the psychopathic world-leader kiddies will be lining up around the block to get theirs too, their cool new shiny kill-toy.

I am cynical enough to believe that is ALL it is about anymore.

I have zero credible information about Assad, nor could I give a fat rats arse about him; he is somebody elses’ problem. To form an opinion based on the level of bullshit we are constantly fed seems to me the height of arrogant stupidity. Syrians can have an opinion. They are there; they have to make decisions based on the reality they confront daily. So too their friends and neighbours … but everyone further away is just blowing hot air up your arse.

It is a vital and radical act to say: “I do not have enough credible information to form an intelligent opinion.”

Because think, in whose interests is it that we believe we’ve read enough op-eds or seen enough footage to weigh in on this and argue, argue, argue, pontificate, argue, argue..? While right in our own backyard we have psychopathic sadists torturing refugees, children, blackfullas, the elderly, the poor, the disabled and getting away with it, as all we know how to do is hold polite protests where all our anger is contained neatly within the signs we carry?

Cui bono?

And doesn’t it set your bullshit meter clanging to hear the oh-so-serious pundits discussing the motivations behind every new atrocity as it they are the acts of rational–albeit cruel–actors? Most human moves are made out of panic and stupidity. Most things are mistakes. Most people are idiots, and that goes double for anyone who is so addicted to power that they’ve performed all the inhumane acts necessary to reach “world leader” status. If the pundits ever got up and said: “I don’t know what the hell they’re up to, it’s quite possible someone just pressed the wrong button,” or “could be because it’s a Tuesday, Anderson, he often gets low blood pressure this time of the week,” then I’d be more inclined to listen to their ‘expertise’. But as it is, I can take only so much of this po-faced gravitas before I want to go running down the street reminding people that Columbus thought Turtle Island was India, and Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin by forgetting to put his lunch in the bin before he went on holidays. Or that the Titanic sank because a guy lost a locker key. Or that the Berlin Wall came down because a politician fluffed a press conference. Or that Kennedy’s attempt to de-communise Cuba failed because the idiots forgot about the time difference between Cuba and Nicaragua, thus taking us into the Cuban Missile Crisis and nearly WWIII. But everyone prefers the version where Kennedy is the most solemn of statesmen who saved us from the evil Reds and would never, ever, lose his house keys.

People are moronic. They’re forgetful, they’re lazy, they’re greedy and they’re usually nasty with it, and the higher you go the nastier they get. Politics, and war, are more Yes, Minister than Thirteen Days; more Dr Strangelove than Black Hawk Down; more Veep than House of Cards. Or perhaps there are some films & novels we should be looking at to better place ourselves amongst this incessant, torrential, deluge of ‘information’… I recommend Wag The Dog, Tomorrow Never Dies, and Evelyn Waugh’s Scoop.

Forget it. Forget trying to understand the conflict unless you’re there and have first-hand experience. Turn your attention instead to who is making what obscene profits from the business of constant war, from these dreadnoughts and killer drones, and missiles with an IQ higher than the Minister for Women.
And to how can we turn their abominations around and point them towards their houses, instead of towards normal people who just want to have a nice meal and go out dancing and get their kids to school on time tomorrow?

And then to what do we have to do to ensure Peter Dutton loses the very marginal seat of Dickson so we don’t have to die knowing we let him become Prime Minister on our watch?

And how to not choke on our own guffaws watching the Daily Telegraph trying to paint Scott Morrison as loveable. (Does that mean he is Murdoch’s choice for the post-Turnbull leadership? Seriously, Rupert, you’ve been out of the country too long if you think that’s gonna fly.)

Now, practice saying with me: “I know nothing.”

Feels good when you get used to it. Because it’s the truth.


At least this guy is actually in Damascus. I know nothing about him and can’t vouch for his credentials but there are a couple of nice shots of people having dinner, and he has a point of view other than the breathless warlust of most current media morons.



Deuw-Yore eSearch is a customisable internet search engine, frequented primarily by professional sociologists, academics, client experience enhancement consultants, clinical beauticians and other truth-seekers.

Kon Spiro Cetheris, supported by leading truth-in-reporting advocates Al X. Jonz, Dave Id-Icky & David Avocado Turnip, developed Deuw-Yore to fill the gap left by the Illuminati take-over of Google and Bing. The company has since become a favourite in scientific rationalist circles for its unbiased, dispassionate, measured analysis of cutting-edge theoretical controversies in various academic disciplines, and of trending internet tropes.

It has become one of the world’s leading search engines in recent years, after revelations of its popularity in both the White House and the Fox News research department.

Whereas Google’s user demographic skewed towards the YUPPIE—Young Upwardly-mobile Professionals Pursuing Innercity real Estate—Deuw-Yore is more popular with CLOUWNS—College-deprived Overeating Upwardly-Wakey Non-Sheeple.

Users tend to be committed proselytisers, dedicated to carrying the message even to the bowels of Youtube comments sections, where they can be identified by their anarchic abandon in the matters of grammar, caps lock usage, and ideological coherence, and their anti-mating calls:
“Wake up, Sheeple!”
“Deuw-Yore eSearch!”

This commitment to proselytising for increased usage of this particular engine is remarkable. It is not known what percentage of users are actual shareholders of the Deuw-Yore eSearch PiTY Ltd, but anecdotal evidence suggests that many actually volunteer their time, which they appear to have a great deal of. It has been suggested that they are perhaps rewarded simply by the warm inner glow of setting right a net denizen on the verge of intellectual error. It has not been believed, but it has been suggested.

There are marked correlations between Deuw-Yore eSearch advocates,  Moon Hoaxers, Flat Earthers, Birthers, and Mandela Effect enthusiasts, possibly due to the high standards of truth, proof, and grammar also required by those sub-demographics. Or possibly not. More data points should clarify.

They drive mostly flat-bed pick-up trucks and big ol’ John Deere skidders, are fond of movies starring Steven Siegal, Bruce Willis or The Rock, and their favourite flavour is purple. They vote conservative if they are not too drunk that day, Sovereign Citizen X if they are.

Dogs don’t like them.


NEXT: An informative breakdown of the online shopping habits of people who believe both that crisis actors are mostly illegal refugees and that the Titanic was an inside job.
Based on extensive data* collected with absolute ethical fanaticism and never, ever, passed on without permission except when paid. We here at Quaerentem pride ourselves on our commitment to the loftiest standards, and as we speak, FB is running their flag the highest though that may change. Hi Alphabet. Contact details above. 🙂

 [*cheers, Zuke, cheque’s in the mail]



I worry about the health of people like Pauline Hanson, Peta Credlin, Alan Jones and our other RWNJs, I really do, because they are so often sick. They complain about it all the time. Not only are they sick, but they are tired; in fact frequently both sick and tired. Sometimes even sick to death! 

I suspect it’s something they ate, they admit themselves that they’ve had a gutful. Maybe they just ate too much, like when they tell us they’re fed up, often to the point of being fed up to the back teeth. 

They must know something’s wrong, they say themselves that they’ve had just about as much as they can take. And they’re clearly measuring their own intake, because they know when they’ve had it up to here.

Sick and tired, sick to death, had it up to here, had a gutful, fed up to the back teeth… these are not signs of a healthy organism.

I hope they feel better soon, I really do, it’s not a mood you want a person to go out and vote in.


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